turbulence
turbulent riversoverflow their ancient banksstill, the lotus bloomswith repairs:the turbulent Gangesoverflows its banks,still, the lotus blooms
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not sure about this one...I want to convey that turbulence causes destructionbut stillness allows bloom,
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..Sarah, i kinda find this one slightly weak ..it is too very simple axiom without any real vibrancy..it doesn't draw you like some other of your recent haiku do; it is more like mere...
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Spiros,I don't find you appraisal negative at all.Your reaction is important to me..that ishow I learn.I like it because I like the feeling I getwhen I think of the lotus, but in truth,it is a cliche....
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Sarah, I like both versions and I think they both work well as haiku. I'm not sure which one I prefer. Both of them get your message across well. As to Spiros' hesitancy about the first wersion, I can...
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Liz,I get what you are saying...I had not thought about that...but in truth, I most always try to create a scene withmy haiku, and that is not what it's all about..It's about seeing a moment and...
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It suddenly occurs to me that haiku is very physical...you have to get at eye level and lookand then write exactly what is there...Haiku is not a rocking chair sport!!
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Yes, it is about writing exactly what is there. That is how you get your best results, It is not really about the number of syllables or the number of lines, but about the two images, reported...
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Yes indeed, it can be done from a rocking chair...: )I was thinking metaphorically, but what you sayis true!
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Well as I look with no expert eye I liked them both but I thoroughly enjoyed following through with the commentaries as well Dinah
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